The politics of dancing

Illustration by Photo Giddy/flickr

Was Bristol Palin's Dancing with the Stars participation about her dancing abilities or her mother's own limitless ambition? Kate Lansing says good riddance to the latest Palin distraction.

Bristol Palin lost her bid to win on Dancing With the Stars. It turned out that fans of Mom couldn’t fix the results by jamming the lines, and the judges made sure that Jennifer Gray (Dirty Dancing with Patrick Swayze, 1987) rightfully waltzed off with the coveted Mirror Ball trophy.

In political irony of ironies, Momma Grizzly advised her blubbery bouncing baby daughter “not to quit” during the contest, while Bristol -- and I quote -- said that if she won, "It would be like giving a big middle finger to people who hate my mom and hate me."

Just what we need…a big “screw you” from an untalented teenage punk, who’s as big an airhead as her quitter mother, who sees far away places from her Alaskan backyard. If Sarah looks south instead east, her view of Hollywood and all its glitter and glamour is probably as clear as seeing Russia.

Whew! I thought we’d never make it through that. Now, as a nation, we can focus on more important things like: Will Lindsay Lohan make it through her enforced recovery from multiple, self-inflicted drug and alcohol abuses? Will Charley Sheen ever get his life on track? Will his former Mistress of the Night prevail in her accusations that he attacked her in a New York hotel room? And most importantly, will thieves stop stealing his cars out from under his nose on his own property in an exclusive hillside community in Los Angeles and push them over a literal cliff as opposed to the figurative cliff Sheen keeps jumping off? Will the burning questions about what happened at Tiger Woods’ house on that fateful night one year ago ever be answered?

Oh, the things we Americans, led by our intrepid press, find to fret about. Congress is about to give the shaft to millions of unemployed Americans by not extending unemployment benefits, the economy is in the tank, and we’re still fighting them over there in Afghanistan while the TSA is groping, embarrassing and getting way too up-close-and personal with travelers here.

But then, in a way, who can blame us? It’s so much easier to fret over the Bristols, Lindsays, Tigers and Charleys of the world, who don’t affect our lives one whit. The other stuff, which does affect us, is way too serious to worry our little heads over.