Stay-at-home dads - an afterthought

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Newspapers across the country covered Father's Day from every angle, but missing were tributes to one special group of fathers, the stay-at-home dads.

If there are any men who deserve to be remembered on Father’s Day, it’s the often maligned or overlooked stay-at-home dads.

Not that dads, who carry out the traditional role of fathering by going to a job, taking out the trash, doing the heavy lifting and occasionally helping with the kids aren’t important, they are.

But the guys who stay at home and wrestle kids, meals, laundry, cleaning, doctor appointments and chaffeuring are a cut above by bucking tradition. They stand pretty much alone by defying societal norms and basically doing their own thing no matter how much criticism is heaped on them by family, friends and even casual acquaintances.

So it is with my friend Chris. He weathered more heat than Bobby Flay standing over a hot grill when, after the birth of his son, he and his wife, Carla, decided it was best for her to go back to work and for him to stay at home with baby Luke.

Undaunted by criticism and poopie diapers like most men I know, Chris leaped head-long into his new role as a stay-at-home dad.

He could not only keep up with an infant and all that it entails; a crawling, babbling, endlessly drooling one-year-old; handle the terrible twos while patiently waiting for the docile threes to kick in, but he could fix the toilet or a leaky faucet at the same time.

It must have been some sight when he had to mow the lawn that had grown tall enough to feed a herd of goats and deal with a fussy, teething baby, too.

Using male ingenuity, he strapped baby Luke on his back, got out the power mower and attacked the lawn. Instead of being an upsetting noisy experience for the little one, it lulled him into a peaceful slumber that lasted all afternoon. It must have been aroma therapy from the delicious scent of newly mown grass.

Or maybe it was just dumb luck, such as my friend Lisa accidentally discovered while walking her fussy baby and vacuuming. Seemed like the noise for the vacuum lulled Rachael to sleep. You never know what will work, and the ole vacuum trick worked every time.

When it comes to Father’s Day, gift giving for the stay-at-home patriarch must be easier, too. No need for tiresome boring ties. With the exception of frilly lingerie, almost any gift a busy mom would like, would be equally appreciated by a busy at-home father.

Chris likes to cook and is as good at it as he is at carpentry, so a new chop saw to go with a meat cleaver are ideal.

A more unusual gift is a matching set of father/child sippy cups. Great for concealing a little afternoon libation when junior is giving good ole dad fits of frustration by making a muddy mess out of his chocolate pudding snack, or the little darling has been following dad down a garden furrow pulling out the plants faster than a pesky gopher.

There’s no better reason for a little vodka and o.j. or half a bottle of beer in a sippy cup, and no one will be the wiser. Matching sippy cups also make nice bonding gifts for grandpa and grandchild to enjoy a little pre-dinner liquid refreshment.

We live in a country blessed with diversity. We come from vastly different backgrounds, ethnicities, religions and life-styles, therefore I never understood the flack aimed at stay-at-home dads.

A quick glance at a roster of reality shows and one has to wonder how a dad can be criticized for staying at home with his kids, while at the same time we’re transfixed with a woman who has a baby every year; women and their multiple births; men engaging in dangerous occupations; tots in beauty contests; a plethora of women giving birth on camera; the extremely obese; people who live in filth and won’t throw anything away; and rich bored housewives.

We can top “Desperate Housewives” with a reality show in celebration of Father‘s Day, and make room for daddy with a show called “Happy Housedads.”

Among his other accomplishments, in addition to being a better 'mom' that a lot of mothers, battling the critics and keeping home and hearth together, Chris, is also an accomplished musician. His real reality show should be entitled “Playing for Keeps at Home with Dad.”